Charity

Charity is both an attitude and an action. And in reality, the attitude alone is not enough. We can have the best intentions to help others, but those intentions are empty unless we follow through in some way.
Children learn empathy and a sense of community through lessons in charity. Parents can instill this altruism in their families in a number of ways:
• Begin by discussing the concept of charity toward others, and start within the family unit. How can we each be “generous and helpful” to one another every day? Make a poster and put it in a visible location, Refer to it often, especially when sibling rivalry takes over.
• If your children receive an allowance, ask that they put a portion in a “Service Jar.” Allow them to decide the recipients of the money and distribute it periodically. Include them in taking the fund to the charity so they can see the results of their generosity.
• Organize a “Closet Clothing Drive” every few months—in their own closets! Children can sort through clothes and toys that are too small or no longer wanted, and donate them, even if it is to a younger sibling. Parents should do the same.
• Discuss the needs in your neighborhood. Are there elderly or disabled residents on your street who could use a helping hand? Children can pull garbage cans out on pick-up day, mow and rake or walk pets, for example. These tasks are perfect for instilling a helpful attitude followed by action. The immediate feedback children get from the recipients of their charity will encourage them to continue.
• Finally, your family can get involved in a community service project at least once a year. Food baskets, holiday gift trees, and baked treats are part of many local charities’ needs on a seasonal basis.
No matter what your family’s spiritual framework, charity is a traditional virtue and an integral part of many religious traditions. Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and many other faiths revolve around charitable works. Incorporate some of these suggestions into your family routine, and the results will help not only others, but your children as well.


Discuss the following with your children:
Is it necessary to identify yourself to those receiving your charity? Why or why not?
Book that build charity:

For children:

Those Shoes by Maribeth Boelts
Abuelita Full of Life by A. Costalese
See You Tomorrow, Charles by M.
Cohen
Gift by H. Coutant

For teens:

Life Is Not Fair by G. Barger
Willie Bea & the Time Martians by
V. Hamilton
Rabbi’s Girls by J. Hurwitz
Animal Family by R. Jarrell

See http://charactercounts.org/resources/booklist_search.php for more choices.


Further Reading on teaching children charity:

Character Matters by Thomas Lickona, p. 19-20.

Raising Good Children by Thomas Lickona, p. 407.

Helping Your Children Become a Responsible Citizen, by US Department of Education, www.ed.gov/pubs/edpubs.html, p. 1- 2.
(This is a free publication that can be ordered at the above named website.)

What Teens Need to Succeed, by Peter L. Benson, Judy Galbraith, Pamela Espeland, see references to Volunteerism.

Books of Responsibility by Young People’s Press, http://youngpeoplespress.com/home.php?cat=315

Lessons in Character by Young People’s Press http://youngpeoplespress.com/home.php?cat=299

Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, http://www.actsofkindness.org/


Quotes to live by:

“Charity sees the need, not the cause.”
German Proverb

“In charity, there is no excess.”
Sir Francis Bacon

“Be charitable before wealth makes thee covetous.”
Sir Thomas Browne

“Charity begins at home.”
Terence

“The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation.”
William Hutton

“The life of a man consists not in seeing visions and in dreaming dreams, but in active charity and willing service.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

A Year of Courage

Where do we find the courage to do what is right?
Peter Gadol

American author Peter Gadol was not focusing on families when he wrote these words. However, his sentiment is going to propel us into 2010 with a challenge to all parents to strengthen and protect the character of their families.
Many parents are losing their children. Everyone may still show up under the same roof at night, but the reality is that the hearts and souls of the young people who live in some of those homes are wandering adrift in a coarsening, unhealthy society. We are being poisoned by the shark-baiting media that thrives on drama, both real and invented for the sake of 24/7 “news.” Our children are pawns of an economy that demands more and more of everything just to fuel the bottom line. And in all of this, our humanity as members of a democracy has somehow gotten lost.
We can step aside and allow it to happen or we can fight back. Let’s challenge each other as parents to tackle the problems one character trait at a time for the next year:

February: Charity for those less fortunate
March: Honesty and integrity as the very foundation of our lives
April: Self-control
May: Patience in all things
June: Forgiveness
July: Citizenship
August: Responsibility for ourselves and others
September: Respect for life, liberty, authority and property
October: Cooperation
November: Leadership
December: Kindness and Caring
January: Tolerance

Character education is merely a systematic way of helping our children practice the habits of good behavior. But first parents must model the desired behavior themselves and then they must explain every step of the way. We provide the instruction, encouragement, role model, and training and thus immerse our children in an environment of good character. By expecting the best of ourselves and then of our children, we have a chance of actually getting better.
To that end, we will address each of these issues throughout the year, providing specific ideas for strengthening the character of our children and our families. The suggestions will be based on the work of leaders in character education in our country, people like Philip Fitch Vincent, Kevin Ryan, Michael Josephson, B. David Brooks, and others. Suggested readings will be provided to accompany each month’s task.
Parents are also encouraged to send in their own suggestions and the experiences that come with having the courage to do what is right for their families, especially in the face of a society that often ridicules doing the right thing. We can learn much from each other.
Let us determine that 2010 will be the turning point in our families. We will no longer allow negative influences to be our default position. We will commit to having the courage to do the right things for our children and our families. It will be a difficult journey and it will be misunderstood by many.
However, the examples we set just might instruct and encourage those who mock us, creating a ground swell that can drown the negativity around us.

Just once......

Just once….

• I’d like to see all the men get up from the table to clean the kitchen and take care of the kids while the women go and watch television or talk.
• I’d like my insurance company to send a “reduction in rate” notice based on the fact that I’m healthy.
• I’d like the person weaving in and out of traffic 60 mph to understand that REAL driving isn’t a video game.
• I’d like the voice recognition system at the other end of the phone to actually recognize my voice.
• I’d like to watch television without being scared to death by previews for movies I would never pay to see.
• I wish we could “make” parents take responsibility for their kids.
• I would like to see a qualifying member of Congress get his or her health care from their local Veteran’s Administration clinic.
• I would like to know that all children in this country have enough to eat before they go to bed.
• it would be nice if all non-profit agencies coordinated efforts in order to maximize their limited resources.
• It would be refreshing for Democrats and Republicans to discuss the issues, and then actually work on them, instead of attacking one another.
• I wish I could sit near someone at a concert (or any event) who didn’t talk through the whole thing.
• I would love the legislature to leave education alone for at least a year, so school systems could implement the rules placed on them the previous year.
• I wish everyone who bought a ticket to a sporting event would make an equal donation to the charity of his or her choice.
• I’d like a publisher or agent to respond in this lifetime.
• I wish all elected or appointed officials acted ethically instead of merely “legally.”
• I wish adults would act with the same character they expect of their children.
• I wish I didn’t always have at least 11 items.

Just once……